Standing on The Edge Of Goodbye (Treasures Of The Rockies) Read online

  He hadn’t intended for her to know he'd been the one. “Amy is a good friend and I knew she needed the help.”

  She shook her head. “Was it you who paid my bill at the Landmark as well?”

  Matt didn’t answer.

  Her hands clenched the edge of the table, eyes closed tight. “Why would you do that? I don’t want to be indebted to you because I don’t know when I can repay you.”

  She was worried about paying him back. “Kate, I promise you don’t owe me anything and I certainly don’t expect you to pay me back. I did it because I care what happens to you and your baby--” He forced himself to take a calming breath before continuing. “I care. Maybe because Rachel was my friend, I don’t know. I just care.” Sure, Matt, that's it. You care about someone.

  Kate was close to tears.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to mention your grandmother. Please don't cry.”

  She brushed her hand over her eyes. “I’m not crying, I never cry." She blew out a sigh. "I suppose I'm just emotional because of my grandmother and everything that’s happened. I miss her terribly.”

  “I know. I miss her, too. That’s one of the reasons I stopped by. I still have some of your grandmother’s things. Maybe you can come over to the cabin sometime and choose what you want to keep?” Matt listened to himself inviting Kate into his life with a detached sense of shock. He’d chosen to be alone. It's what he wanted, wasn't it?

  “I’d like that very much, thank you.” She glanced over her shoulder at the group of loggers who’d just entered the diner. “I really should get back to work. Herman needs help with the lunch special.”

  Matt took a bite of his pancakes, suspicious of his own motivation. He simply needed to clear out the cabin. But his heart was telling another story. He felt protective of Kate. Just like he'd felt protective of Rachel. That was all.

  ****

  Kate headed toward the kitchen, her thoughts churning into overtime. She didn’t know what to make of Matt Stevens. Her traitorous heart wanted to believe perhaps he was being sincere and that he really did care about her and the baby.

  When she reached the kitchen, Herman was preparing the lunch special of the day while listening to a game show on the small television he'd mounted above his workspace.

  “You come to lend a hand? Sure you feel up to it?” He glanced her way just long enough to see her grin before handing her a knife and some of the potatoes he’d been chopping. “Matt still here?”

  Kate nodded, then sat down on the stool he'd pulled out for her and started to work.

  “He’s a good man. ’Bout time he remembered that for himself.” With those few words, Herman let the subject drop as he placed the meatloaf into the industrial size oven to cook.

  It was a relief not to have to explain what was going on between her and Matt especially since she had no idea herself. She couldn’t see the two of them becoming friends so where did that leave them. Kate was still chopping furiously when Matt walked into the room and gave the older man a hug.

  “Herman, I see you’ve recruited help. It's about time.”

  “Yes sir, I sure have. Don’t tell Amy, but I kind of like this one.” He pointed his knife in Kate’s direction and winked at her. “She doesn’t talk my ear off like my wife.”

  Matt’s deep rumble of laughter made her even more aware of him.

  “Don’t worry, I won’t tell her you said that. I’ll see you on Sunday Herman. I’ll talk to you soon, Kate.”

  For the rest of the morning and throughout the busy lunch crowd, Kate was able to ignore most of Amy’s not so subtle attempts at finding out more about Matt’s visit.

  After the lunch crowd cleared out, Amy and Herman usually left and Kate went back to her small apartment behind the diner to rest.

  Kate had never mentioned anything about how she’d ended up at Matt’s house, but after his visit, Amy was more than her usual persistent self.

  At last, Kate gave in and told her everything.

  Amy shook her head. “Um, um, um. Ever since that accident, the one that killed his wife and son three years ago, Matt hasn’t been the same person, bless his heart. The poor man has just about disappeared into total seclusion in that big, empty house of his. Shut himself off from everyone who loved him.

  “The only people he cared about seeing was the doctor friend of his, and your grandmother. He adored her. I don’t mind telling you I was just about ready to lose all hope for him when he showed up for Sunday service. I pray to God that he’s come back for good this time.”

  Shocked, Kate glanced up from counting out the deposit of the day. She couldn't believe what she'd just heard. Matt had lost his wife and son. She couldn't imagine coming back from such a tragedy.

  “How dreadful. I didn’t realize he was even married.”

  “Oh, yes,” Amy acknowledged. “Although I don’t believe it was a happy marriage. There wasn't much love between Matt and his wife. Caroline Stevens never came to church, not once. But Matt, well, he never missed a service and that boy of his...” Amy’s eyes softened. “That boy was always there with him. Matt adored little Sammy. He was so proud of him and it was obvious the boy worshipped his father. It sucked the life right out of Matt when Sammy died. It was such a tragedy.”

  Kate's heart went out to him. “What happened?” she whispered. Tears pricked her eyes. She blinked hard but they wouldn't go away.

  “Caroline was leaving Matt the night of the accident and she had their son with her. Oh, no one ever said as much right out, but she left in the middle of the night with all of their clothes. Doesn’t take a brain surgeon to figure out the rest of the story. Poor man. Matt didn’t have any idea what Caroline was up to. They were half way down Silver Mountain when her car skidded on the icy road and went off the mountainside. They were both killed instantly.”

  Kate stood silent, her hands holding the forgotten deposit. Tears spilled from her eyes. “That’s horrible. It must have been so hard for him.”

  Amy shook her head then patted Kate’s hand when she spotted the tears. “Yes, it was, child. Like I said, he shut himself up in that house and didn’t talk to anyone except Rachel and Denny. Denny wouldn’t let Matt push him out of his life. I have to applaud his loyalty. Not too many people would stick by a friend, even one as close as those two, in the face of such bitterness.

  “I was so afraid we’d never get him back again. That he was going to be angry with God forever for what happened that night. Maybe he’s finally beginning to make his peace with God over Sammy’s death. And you know, I can’t help but believe that you had something to do with that, child.”

  Kate tore her gaze away from the open speculation. “Oh, Amy, no. You’re wrong. He hardly knows me, so there’s no way I could be responsible for the difference in him. Whatever happened to change Matt has absolutely nothing to do with me!”

  Yet, all at once, Kate wasn’t so sure. She still remembered what he’d said to her earlier. She caught Amy smiling gently and she suspected the older woman wasn’t buying it, either.

  Chapter Three

  “Now, don’t you even think about picking up those pies, child.” Kate stopped what she was doing, startled at the sound of Amy’s voice.

  The woman was standing with her hands on her hips, scowling. “Herman and I’ll make sure everything gets to the community center in one piece. All you need to worry about is sitting behind the booth and taking the nice folks’ money.”

  Kate set the two pecan pies gently back on the table and grinned.

  Tonight was the town’s annual Fall Festival, and all of Silver Mountain, as well as several of the surrounding communities had turned out for the celebration.

  All Kate wanted to do was go back to her little apartment, crawl into bed and sleep, even though it was barely six. Lately, even the slightest exertion left her drained, and she’d been fighting a cold for days. But she’d promised Amy she would help.

  “Okay, but if it’s all right with you guys I’m going
to take my car. That way I can leave if I need to and I won’t have to bother you or Herman.”

  “Oh, no you don’t, young lady. I’m not letting you drive with the roads being as nasty as they are. No, you just climb up front next to Herman. We’ll be happy to bring you home whenever you feel like it.”

  Kate did as Amy said because she realized it would be pointless to argue once the woman's mind was set.

  The entire community center was outlined in tiny white Christmas lights. Kate had never seen the place so busy before. But the outside decorations were nothing compared to the dozens of colorful booths set up inside.

  There were homemade crafts, quilts, jams, food and, of course, Amy’s famous desserts.

  A raised platform had been constructed at one end of the building where a local country band was setting up for their performance later that night.

  The Reynolds’ booth was sandwiched between an elderly woman who had an array of handmade dolls and the kitchen area.

  While Herman hurried off to work on the potluck dinner with a group of other volunteers, Amy and Kate did their best to arrange the pies for maximum exposure.

  With the deserts on display, Amy and Kate settled into a couple of chairs. Everyone knew Amy and her booth was one of the more popular ones.

  Kate recognized several of the people. Still others came by to introduce themselves and welcome her to the community. Just about everyone knew her grandmother.

  “Oh, before I forget I promised Matt I’d keep back one of the chocolate pies for him. It’s his favorite, you know.” Amy winked and set it behind the display.

  At the mention of Matt’s name Kate began working on her excuse to leave the festival as soon as possible.

  After an hour, almost all of Amy’s pies sold. The cakes and cookies were quickly disappearing, as well.

  Kate was beginning to feel the effects of being pregnant. The room was stuffy and hot. The thought of having to work her way across the crowded room was exhausting in itself.

  Instead, she watched the couples on the dance floor laughing and enjoying the music. How very different life was here compared to the terrifying fear that had become part of her daily life with Josh.

  “So you did come. I was afraid Amy wouldn’t be able to talk you into it.”

  She’d been so lost in the music and her own thoughts that she hadn’t even realized she was alone with Matt.

  “I wanted to help Herman and Amy with the sale since they’ve both been so good to me.”

  “You like the band?” he asked.

  “Yes, they're very good. Amy should be back soon.”

  Matt actually smiled at her. “That’s good, but I didn’t come here to see Amy. I came to see you. Come dance with me.” He reached for her hand.

  “No. I mean I can’t.”

  “Come on, Kate. I’ve asked Denny and he’s given his approval, so please don’t say no.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t think so. I’m not very good at it and--”

  He pulled her gently to her feet and into his arms, holding her loosely against his body as they left the booth. “There’s nothing to it. Just listen to the music and follow me.”

  They stood at the edge of the crowded dance floor. Kate’s gaze locked with his, and she was conscious of more than a few curious glances.

  “Just relax. I promise you it won’t hurt.”

  The band started to play another song tailor-made for slow dancing and she gave in.

  Kate seemed to have developed two left feet as she stumbled and stepped on Matt’s foot. He was trying very hard not to laugh.

  Kate didn’t dare look at him.

  Matt pulled her still closer. Her gaze lifted to his and her carefully placed resistance shattered into a thousand pieces.

  There was no condemnation in the blue eyes that swept over her face. The man who held her close, carefully guiding her around the floor, and watching her in a way she couldn’t understand.

  “Don’t tell me they don’t have country music in Austin? I thought you guys practically invented it?” He was actually teasing her. “Or is it that young people these days just don’t listen to anything you can actually dance to?”

  It was hard to keep from smiling. She’d almost forgotten how good listening to a favorite song could feel.

  Kate’s heart soared just as her right foot made hard contact once again with his.

  “Oops, sorry.”

  There wasn’t any humor in his expression anymore. Something unnamed made her catch her breath, and all at once she became shy. She looked away as his fingers threaded through her hair, and the gentle pressure against her head left her no choice but to lean against him.

  “Relax,” Matt whispered close to her ear.

  Kate felt the weight of the past few weeks lift and then disappear for the length of the song. She didn’t want this peace to ever end.

  For the first time in a long time, she was letting go of all her fears, all her uncertainties, simply listening to a song, and to the soft steady beat of Matt’s heart beneath her ear.

  It was a long time before she realized that the music had ended. She stood perfectly still. She didn’t want to move away, she didn’t want to let go of this small amount of peace. He was the one to pull away. The questions in his eyes matched hers in the inches of electric space that separated them.

  “Are you okay?” he asked her softly. The meaning in his gentle question went beyond the words. He was asking her permission to move forward.

  She shook her head then pulled away, murmuring something about needing air.

  That small line had been crossed that held the reservations they still had for each other.

  Kate picked her way across floor, pushing open the door, to be greeted by a crisp, clean rush of mountain air that sucked her breath away. In the shadows, Kate closed her eyes and took several deep, steadying breaths.

  “Kate? Are you all right? Do you want me to get Denny?” She hadn’t realized he’d followed her.

  She drew in another steadying breath, thankful when the nausea subsided. “No, I’m fine. I just needed to catch my breath. It was too hot in there. I’m okay now. You don’t have to stick around. I’ll be fine.”

  “Come sit down.” Matt ignored her attempt to get rid of him. He reached for her hand and led her to one of the wooden benches.

  Kate turned to him, trying to make out his expression in the darkness.

  “Better?” he asked her softly. “I’m sorry. I should have realized it was too crowded in there. Are you sure you’re okay?”

  She was overwhelmed by the gentle concern in his voice. As she tried to find the words to reassure him, Matt reached out to touch her cheek. Everything disappeared with his fingers against her skin.

  “Why don’t you let me take you home? I know you came with Amy and Herman, but they’ll be hours yet. I’ll drive you back to the apartment. Stay here where it’s quiet and I’ll let them know we’re leaving.”

  “No.” Kate found her voice at last. “No, I’m fine, really. I should stay and help them out.”

  The warmth of his fingers against her cheek lingered there for a moment longer. “Kate, it’s okay to give in a little, you know? No one expects you to be strong all the time, especially not Amy or Herman. Stay here. I’ll let them know we’re leaving and then I’ll be right back for you. Okay?”

  Kate didn’t have the will to argue with him. She wanted to be alone with her feelings and try to understand her reaction to him. She was only grateful for the shadows that surrounded them so that he couldn’t see just how much his nearness was affecting her.

  ****

  Matt glanced back over his should just to make sure he hadn’t imagined her there. He wondered if she would still be waiting when he returned. He stood just inside the entryway trying to appear calm enough to face Amy’s all-seeing eyes. What on earth was the matter with him tonight?

  He’d known Kate would be here even though he’d been trying to shove her out of his t
houghts ever since his visit to the diner. He tried to convince himself that he wanted to help her, to simply be her friend. The truth was more disturbing than that.

  The attraction he felt for her from that very first day had only grown stronger.

  Kate made him aware of all the years he’d been alone. She made him wish for things he’d given up on.

  Matt picked Amy out of a group of ladies and closed his eyes. He didn’t want to explain what he was doing in front of them. He caught her eye and motioned her away from the rest of the women.

  “I’m going to take Kate home. She’s tired.”

  Right away Amy was concern. “Is she all right? Do you think we need to tell that doctor friend of yours?”

  Matt chuckled at the way Amy's spoke of Denny. “No, I don’t think it’s as serious as that. She’s just tired. But I’ll talk to Denny before I leave just to make sure.”

  Amy thrust a light wool blazer at him. “Don’t forget Kate’s jacket. Call me later tonight. I want to know she’s okay, otherwise I’ll never be able to sleep.”

  ****

  “My truck is just over here.” Matt helped her to her feet and they started in the direction he'd parked the truck.

  He had to remind himself to breathe as they walked, his hand lightly touching her back. He unlocked the passenger door and waited while Kate got in. She seemed a bit surprised by his old-fashioned chivalry.

  The silence lengthened between them as he drove the short distance and he searched for something to fill the void.

  “Do you like working at the diner?”

  He could have smacked his forehead at the stupidity of the question. She'd already told him she liked working with Amy and Herman.

  Kate turned in her seat. Even in the darkness, he could feel the warmth of her smile.

  “Believe it or not, yes. I really do enjoy working there. It’s nice, they’re nice, and I’ve gotten a chance to meet just about everyone in town by now. I’m really blessed.”

  Matt parked behind the diner, but he wasn’t in a hurry to end the evening. Kate was talking to him.